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The Hulk


The NZA

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They get points for somehow incorporating Moon Knight, Wendigos, and Joe Fixit into the same comic. I wish they would just fucking tell us who he is so he can fucking die and we don't have to deal with the annoying fuck anymore.

 

What happened to the badass World War Hulk Hulk? He would kick Red Hulk's ass and then contemplate solemnly whilst standing atop an alien battlecruiser about it. Then he would beat up all the X-Men ever, just cause he can.

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Well right now with the Defenders vs. the Anti-Defenders or whatever the hell they're called it appears that Proffessor Hulk has temporarily returned (because apparently bringing back bad ideas from the early 90s is the new black) but seriously if Warrior Hulk ever returns then Red Hulk is fucking dead (so let's hurry up and bring him back.)

 

And I maintain he is someone important because Rick Jones (who I still maintain should have never lost the mantle of Captain Marvel, that series was the shit!) said "Red Hulk is..." and I really doubt Doc Sampson knocked him out because he was about to say "...one hell of a nice guy." So it's obviously A) somebody we know and B) Somebody Banner would know.

 

My best theory is that Sampson's dickery as of late can all be chocked up to Marvel's 4th go to (After Clones, Skrulls, and Alternate Universe Folks) that is, of course, life model decoys. Making Sampson capable of being Red Hulk and himself at the same time. Granted that's a fucking stupid idea but then again Marvel has grenlit the reunion tour of Morbius and the Midnight Sons and brought the fucking Skrull Kill Krew back into canon so you know it's not only plausible but probable.

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And I maintain he is someone important because Rick Jones (who I still maintain should have never lost the mantle of Captain Marvel, that series was the shit!) said "Red Hulk is..." and I really doubt Doc Sampson knocked him out because he was about to say "...one hell of a nice guy." So it's obviously A) somebody we know and B) Somebody Banner would know.

 

Alright, I forgot about the Rick Jones thing. Bah.

 

Quick confession about Captain Marvel: That Death of Captain Marvel book that Jim Starlin did? The one where he's all wasting away from cancer and the Marvel U is gathered around his bed waiting for him to bite it? That...uh...that made me cry when I was a kid.

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sissy!

 

i for one was digging the Red Hulk, i havent read the new one that everyone's on about here though. i do second batyor's notion of that Captain Marvel book having been awesome, though - newt had me read just about the whole thing, it was grand. No idea why they strayed from comedy to melodrama again.

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  • 8 months later...

I was re-reading Batman: Hush recently for some stupid reason and was noticing what a clumsy ass mystery writer Loeb is. Hush spoilers in the following paragraph.

 

 

First we have the obvious guy, the so-obvious-he-must-be-a-red-herring character, but everything about the story points to him being the mystery man. And then, shocker, he's conclusively excluded as a suspect (in this instance by being shot to death). So then you're genuinely flummoxed because the one guy that made sense can't possibly be the mystery guy now and you're suspecting everyone and trying to figure out who else it could be. And then, SURPRISE, it was that obvious guy from the beginning all along.

 

I think the same thing is happening here. Rulk is Doc Samson. Every inconsistency will be explained by something absurd eventually. Loeb is fail like that.

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  • 4 weeks later...
damn i'm good

 

...is this why joel thinks he knows things about comics? because he wrongly guesses and no one corrects him?

 

JZA: stop at Planet Hulk's end and youll love it more. great story.

and yeah, i know his stilts are (*sigh*), i meant bones too. bad enough they somehow did that to bullseye, i still dont know how its explained.

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an artificially created Hulk is a fucking Clone, damn it. And I was the fucking closest one to the rest of you dolts

 

...but you're still wrong Rulk is still trying to hide his identity (he thinks Domino knows, tried to kill her for it). she saw someone hulk out and grow into him, so its (likley) still someone we know. but the next arc, "Fall of the Hulks" looks to be about Samson for whatever reason...im sure Loeb'll let us k now what's up when he's good and ready, and itll totally deliver.

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...is this why joel thinks he knows things about comics? because he wrongly guesses and no one corrects him?

 

JZA: stop at Planet Hulk's end and youll love it more. great story.

and yeah, i know his stilts are (*sigh*), i meant bones too. bad enough they somehow did that to bullseye, i still dont know how its explained.

 

Bullseye had his spine done like, fucking eons ago after Daredevil broke his bone one in a fight. Has he had the process done to the rest of him now or wha?

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  • 4 months later...

SPOILER QUOTE!!

 

 

quote name='Thelogan Prime' date='Sep 26 2008, 03:32 PM' post='280052'

I'm gonna put in my early prediction that Red Hulk is General "Thunderbolt" Ross.

When I'm proven right I expect some sort of pastry.

If I'm wrong, then let us never speak of this again.

quote

 

 

I demand a pastry.

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SPOILER QUOTE!!

 

 

quote name='Thelogan Prime' date='Sep 26 2008, 03:32 PM' post='280052'

I'm gonna put in my early prediction that Red Hulk is General "Thunderbolt" Ross.

When I'm proven right I expect some sort of pastry.

If I'm wrong, then let us never speak of this again.

quote

 

 

I demand a pastry.

 

 

 

Wasn't the Red Hulk getting chewed out by Ross in a earlier issue saying how he made him or am I wrong?

 

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