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Hondo's Bar

Blargh - The Random Thread


The NZA

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Haha....i forgot, intros arent my strength.

Many guys complain they can get to talkin to a chick, but nothin from there - right into the friend zone. Me, i got it opposite. If we get to talkin, you'll prolly be interested, but right off the bat i aint got shit.

Club full of attractive wee-men, and nothin. Courage to run into collapsing buildings, but a cute chick dances up on me or smiles my way, and im off to the bar cause i aint got nothin to say.

There's $20 i wont see again. Had a good time, mind ya, and at least the bartender was cool, but I remember why i aint the clubbing type - if you dont much dance and have very little game in the early stages, its not your scene.

My powers are useless there! And I'm a sexy bitch, people!

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Ok, a new landmark in ignorance was made today. Had to call an agent that was having problems getting registered with the Texas Fair plan. So I call and hes going on about emails not working and I ask what email he used. He says...

 

www.texasfairplan.org

 

The dingbat was trying to email the website directly! Granted the state is running this operation but their not quite springing for Artificial intelligence just yet. :D

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"I Hate It Here - Yesterday, here in the city. I saw a wolf turn into a Russian ex-gymnast and hand over a business card that read YOUR OWN PERSONAL TRANSHUMAN SECURITY WHORE! STERILIZED INNARDS! ACCEPTS ALL CREDIT CARDS to a large man who wore trained attack cancers on his face and possessed seventy-five indentured Komodo Dragons instead of legs.

And they had sex. Right in front of me. And six of the Komodo Dragons spat napalm on my new shoes."

- Spider Jerusalem, Transmetropolitan

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:kitty: - You gotta admit, your boy John Mayer sounds much better on acoustic, i dont know why they cover him up with synthesized sounds & such. Just listen to the radio version of "Your body is a wonderland", then go download the acoustic & tell me its not like 10x better.

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((me, leah and maria driving in walnut creek))

michelle- hey lets look to see how many ugly cars we can find!

maria- okay!

michelle- look there's an ugly car parked in between that lexus and that corvette! haha

maria- a beretta! haha

michelle and maria- yah that's a hella ugly car!

leah- ummm guys... that's the kind of car yahve has.

michelle and maria- well we mean... ummm... it's not that ugly!

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(me, maria, and michelle in the car last night)

 

Maria: let's put in this compilation cd i made

 

michelle: okay!

 

*O-Town and some other R&B shit comes on*

 

Leah: "wtf is this shit? i fucking hate r&b, change it to sublime or something"

 

*michelle and maria ignore my cries of pain from the back seat*

 

*brian adams comes on, i fucking hate brian adams*

 

Leah: *lets out an agonizing scream of pain* "honestly if i hear this "really love a woman" shit i'm going to throw up all over your nicely cleaned car michelle"

 

*they change the track, on to elvis's "i can't help falling in love with you" (fools rush in or whatever)

 

I am content =)

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((me, maria and leah driving))

 

maria- if you were stranded on an island who would you eat first?

 

michelle- becky because she would be the first to die anyways.

 

leah- but she's so skinny there wouldn't be much to eat.

 

michelle and maria- yeah that's true.

 

michelle- well anyways if you had to bring three items with you and you were stranded on an island what would it be.

 

leah- my JUSTIFIED cd!!!!

 

maria- leah that's only one thing.

 

leah- oh okay... justified cd, food, and water.

 

michelle- then how are you going to play your cd?

 

leah- okay fine... my justified cd, a radio, and batteries.

 

maria- you'd hella die!

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(maria, michelle, and i driving)

 

maria: comon leah, you know if someone special dedicated one of these (meaning sucky ass r&b songs) songs to you, you'd like it... listen to the lyrics

 

leah: yeah, i'd be touched

 

michelle: see, you like it,

 

leah: well, actually i wouldn't like it, i'd pretend to like it, but deep down inside i'd be loathing every minute of some wanky boyz to men ballad dedicated in my honor.

 

maria: LEAH!!! you're soooo not romantic...

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