The NZA Posted October 9, 2003 Author Share Posted October 9, 2003 Also, Britney thinks she's Courtney Love these days. She's all over the place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 How long before this Christina / Britney war takes them to hardcore lesbian action? 2 years? 2 weeks? It's nice to blow off your fanbase too. "Hey, all you 12 year old girls out there... suck a mighty huge penis!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 9, 2003 Author Share Posted October 9, 2003 John Madden will eat your balls Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 I'm almost 100% positive that IC's jukebox thingee said he was playing Shakira... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 9, 2003 Author Share Posted October 9, 2003 look, it was a house remix, and i get this visual of the hip thing in the video when i hear it.. dont make me sic Maddden on your balls. ...mediocre joke time! An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I'm a cowboy." She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women." The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 For the next few months.... I AM A TWO CELLPHONE USING BASTARD! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 9, 2003 Author Share Posted October 9, 2003 I think Chief has found the board a new avatar ...mediocre jokes continue! :D Two irishmen were sitting in a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad." Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other irishman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the jews are fallin' victim to temptation." Then they saw a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the irishmen said, "What a terrible pity... one of the girls must be quite ill." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted October 10, 2003 Share Posted October 10, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 10, 2003 Share Posted October 10, 2003 "It says I choo-choo-choo-chooose you. And there's a picture of a train..." "My cat's breath smells like cat food." "I like your toys. Mine are all sticky" Heh...gotta love Ralph Wiggum... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted October 10, 2003 Share Posted October 10, 2003 The Next Eminem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted October 10, 2003 Share Posted October 10, 2003 In the video store last night and these 3 college guys come into the store. "Hey, we gonna get 'Finding Nemo'?", one of them says sarcasticly. "Yeah...let's.", says the other. "That movie is so fuckin' queer", the last one says and they all chuckle away. I look down to check out their movie. "2 Fast 2 Furious" Thank God that isn't the most homoerotic piece of kelp on the shelves... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted October 10, 2003 Share Posted October 10, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 11, 2003 Author Share Posted October 11, 2003 from Chiefy... Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Fcuknig amzanig huh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted October 11, 2003 Share Posted October 11, 2003 There's nothin' like getting a (censored due to Tulip0's thread about our dirty comments) and then when she's least expecting it (censored due to Tulip0's thread about our dirty comments) and for the grand finale (censored due to Tulip0's thread about our dirty comments). Ya always have to (censored due to Tulip0's thread about our dirty comments). ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ There's nothin' like getting a gal that you've liked for yonks and then when she's least expecting it you pull off the romancing move of the millenium and for the grand finale a night on the town with fine food and drink and dancing. Ya always have to be a perfect gentleman of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oppai-Seijin Posted October 11, 2003 Share Posted October 11, 2003 HUEVOSPLASH!!! by Penis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soldier of fortune Posted October 11, 2003 Share Posted October 11, 2003 Fuckin Swiss Bastards!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 11, 2003 Author Share Posted October 11, 2003 Cmon get up, get on the floor, everybody do the di-no-saur Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted October 12, 2003 Share Posted October 12, 2003 Yeah Kerr ya fuckin' bollocks, walk off. Poxy fucker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 13, 2003 Author Share Posted October 13, 2003 ..for TulipO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 boom boom shakalaka boom boom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 13, 2003 Author Share Posted October 13, 2003 But back to Deidra. From her website, we learn a lot about this eater of the prom (note: links don't currently work on her site because she is fat). She writes poems about her dogs and gives tips on how to keep them from falling off your lap if you're shaped like a beanbag. She's even nice enough to list her insane physical statistics. This helps Japanese gamblers better determine what creature to place their bets on during the next Giant Monster Unlimited Class Wrestling Tournament. And since the lay man has no possible way to understand her massive measurements, I've spent the last week travelling the city tracking down scientists, prostitutes, and other experts to help put them into understandable terms. Name: Deidra A. Daley Known to her friends as the Daley Double or Visual Pollution. On the Tokyo circuit they call her something that loosely translates as Lard Tubed Bigeye Tuna. Super-Size Model & Actress As Deidra says, "I am seeking Work and Representation at the present time." So she might as well say she's an astronaut, an olympic gold medalist, or Ricky Martin. Voice-Over Artist No samples of her voice were on her site, but physiologists estimate it can be reproduced by pounding on a bass drum or farting. Science fiction fans may have heard her work before, where one of her famous lines was, "There will be no bargain, young Jedi. I shall enjoy watching you die*. Ah. Ha. Haaaaa." *translated from fart sounds Current Stats: Age: 31 Physicists hope she's lying - if she is only 31, this indicates she is expanding at a rate faster than our universe, the implications of which are not yet known. Height: 5'10" Note: height may increase if she is placed on her side. Weight: 420 lbs. That's enough mass to tear most elevators off their cables into a fiery explosion of butter and debris. But to better put this into perspective - if you piled her on top of herself, it would take 19 of her to reach the moon and back. Hair:Long, Thick, Blonde Able to be seen from space. Eyes: Deep Blue "Deep" here referring to the distance of her pupils to the surface of her face - an astonishing 8 water-retaining inches. Measurements: Bust: 62 Bra straps this large can only be made by a small parachute manufacturing company in Italy. Metallurgists began working on an alloy capable of supporting her breasts, but were unable to distinguish them from the other breast-like layers of flesh located many places from her "neck" down. Since then, the metallurgists have given up and are using their talent on an easier project: a helmet that can travel through time. They will call it Time-Hat. Waist: 60 Were she to attach child-sized baskets to her belt and spin, she would be considered a medium to large sized carousel. But this plan requires finding a belt that can fit around her, and of course, that's not possible. After you hit the metric ton point of your lifelong binge, you spend most of your time shopping in the elastic section. Lower Belly:72 While this statistic may be interesting, it remains unknown why Deidra decided to measure loose areas of fat on her body. Upper Arm Flap and Third Chin Circumferance measurements removed from report for reasons of the human gag reflex. Shoe Size:11 A small car with the tires removed. This may be the reason she was upset enough to devour the prom - a clumsy dance step earlier in the night made her "shoe's" airbag go off, severely stubbing her toe. Hips:59 it would take 8 slow dancers to completely encircle this distance, but local firemen say this is a bad idea because of the danger of participants becoming pinned under the previously documented Lower Belly. Dress Size:34 when reached for comment, local GAP salesperson said, "what the hell is a size 34? ha ha ha that's like saying size ten hundred! You can't even picture it. What is it, like two holes punched in the bottom of a tent? You're probably going to want to go the sporting goods store at the end of the mall." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 I hate people, wine and hangovers. I wanna have some soup and then go watch Kill Bill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 13, 2003 Author Share Posted October 13, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oppai-Seijin Posted October 14, 2003 Share Posted October 14, 2003 I'd like to get a squirt bottle full of tequila and squirt it over a crowd of friends with their mouths open. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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