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Hondo's Bar

Blargh - The Random Thread


The NZA

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Yeah, uh, i missed like 10 birthdays, and at least 3 of you were cool, too. Sorry bout that, hope they were great.

 

so here i am in LL's room, setting up the webcams usin her comp, logging her out all-nice like, and being less bitter.

Tomorrow, i hopefully start signing up for fire academy, run some errands & prepare for poker night, so life is nothing but good right now, wh at with EMT class goin well and all to boot.

 

...but what throws me off is that LL keeps talkin bout her "slutty, busty friends who come through MIA every now and then" and here i am with jax sleepin on the futon.

 

ps of course i just had the very lovely miss heartlessbitch come through, so my only intrest is to have said slutty, busty chicks introduced to the forum; dont go PM'ing her and starting shit, now

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It's a gray day today. Ugh, I actually did mean that to rhyme.

 

There's something about atmospheric conditions that makes me emotionally hard. :D

 

The day is long though. No one is asking for technical assistance. And I'm anxious to get out of here and catch some much needed Z's.

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PRICELESS

 

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (20 miles over the limit),

a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the

other side lying in wait.

 

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic

patronizing smirk we all know and love(?), asked, "What's your hurry?"

 

To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

 

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

 

"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

 

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a

rectum stretcher do?"

 

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up

to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work

from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but

surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."

 

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.

 

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

 

Traffic Ticket: $105.00

Court Costs: $45.00

Look on Cop's Face: PRICELESS

Edited by alita
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