alive she cried Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 #779288 +(1440)- [X] so, my mom was putting in her CD with church pics but it wouldn't work on her computer so she put it in mine now, the last thing I watched on windows media player was hardcore lesbian porn that got into the action right away so my mom puts in the cd into my computer opens up windows media players and the porn starts playing and when I realized what was happening I was like "oh fuck" but then... she goes berserk she was screaming "THIS CD HAS BEEN POSSESSED BY THE DEVIL!!" and she took out a HAMMER and smashed the fucking CD it was the best thing ever not only was I completely off the hook you have to love the awesome displays of religious apeshit I think if god existed, he put people like my mom on this earth to entertain us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boogie Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel The following are actual stories provided by travel agents: I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?" I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click. A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state." I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map." Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time." A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that! A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage. I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them." A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever." A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express." A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!" Icon's Story Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alive she cried Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 More by Mark Osborne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alive she cried Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 (edited) *edit* wrong thread Edited July 7, 2007 by alive she cried Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alive she cried Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 HEAVEN IS HOTTER THAN HELL PARADOXThe Heaven is Hotter than Hell Paradox is a contradiction between stated temputures listed in the Bible. By computing the temputures of both Heaven and Hell using the information by the Bible. Tempurature of Heven The temperature of heaven can be rather accurately computed. Our authority is the Bible, Isaiah 30:26 reads, "Moreover, the light of the moon shall be as the light of the sun and the light of the sun shall be sevenfold as the light of seven days." Thus, heaven receives from the moon as much radiation as the earth does from the sun, and in addition seven times seven (49) times as much as the earth does from the sun, or fifty times in all. The light we receive from the moon is one ten-thousandth of the light we receive from the sun, so we can ignore that. With these data we can compute the temperature of heaven: The radiation falling on heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation. In other words, heaven loses fifty times as much heat as the earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann fourth power law for radiation: (H/E)4 = 50 where E is the absolute temperature of the earth, 300°K (273+27). This gives H the absolute temperature of heaven, as 798°K (525°C or 977°F). Tempurature of Hell The exact temperature of hell cannot be computed but it must be less than 444.6°C, the temperature at which brimstone or sulfur changes from a liquid to a gas. As stated in Revelations 21:8: "But the fearful and unbelieving... shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone." A lake of molten brimstone [sulfur] means that its temperature must be at or below the boiling point, which is 444.6°C. (Above that point, it would be a vapor, not a lake.) We have then, temperature of heaven, 525°C (977°F) and the temperature of hell, less than or equal to (=>) 444.6°C (>=832.28°F). Therefore heaven is hotter than hell. OMNIPOTENCE PARADOX The omnipotence paradox is an apparent contradiction in the notion of an omnipotent (all-powerful) being (such as God, or Superman, or the government). An omnipotent being can do absolutley anything. So can an omnipotent being create a stone that is too heavy for him to lift? If he can create it, then there is one thing he can't do: lift the stone. If he can't create it, then there is one thing he can't do: create such a stone. Either way, there is something he can't do, which contradicts the assumption that he is omnipotent. This is a paradox. It has been taken by some to show that there cannot be an omnipotent being, and by others to show merely that the concept of omnipotence is misunderstood (for example, that it does not involve the power to bring about logical impossibilities). Philosophical Responses One common response points out that this question makes implicit assertions that are inconsistent and self-contradictory. The phrase omnipotent being implicitly states that any phrase such as a stone too heavy for him to lift is meaningless. Thus, one solution to this type of paradox is to say that it is logically impossible for both entities to exist at the same time. So, there cannot be both an omnipotent God and an unliftable rock. 1. Extraction: Therefore, a response is available if it is already accepted that God cannot do what is logically impossible 2. Logical Conclusion: God cannot do what is logically impossible. 3. Assumption: It is logically impossible for there to be a stone God cannot move. 4. Logical Result: God cannot create such a stone. This necessarily accepts the view that even an omnipotent God cannot violate the laws of logic, and indeed this whole paradox can be seen as a strong reason for such a view. The philosopher Averroes advanced the omnipotence paradox for this reason (for which he was condemned by Bishop Tempier), although instead of phrasing it in terms of stones, he asked whether God could create a triangle whose internal angles did not add up to 180 degrees. (Note that the later discovery of non-Euclidean geometry does not resolve this question. One might as well ask, "If given the axioms of Riemannian geometry, can God create a triangle whose angles do not add up to less than 180 degrees?" In either case, the real question is whether, once God has decided to establish a system of axioms, can He evade the consequences which follow logically from them?) However, the answer above can be restated even if one does not already accept that God cannot do logically impossible things: one can answer that the question is literally meaningless, and therefore there is not even a logically impossible task being set. This is a useful distinction if one wants to hold (as some, including René Descartes, have held), that God can do even some logically impossible things, such as making 2+2=4 false, although not everyone believes that God can mess with math. Another solution is simply that an omnipotent being can create a stone too heavy for him to lift. The being's omnipotence depends on the nonexistence of such a stone, but his omnipotence also implies that the being can give up his unlimited power if he wishes. If he were to create such a stone, then he would in effect be relinquishing his omnipotence, but no logical contradiction would arise. (But in this "solution" may lie yet another problem: if God is omnipotent at any given point in time, he must also be omnipotent at any other time since he can manipulate the time axis arbitrarily without losing his omnipotence. Thus, God cannot choose to give up his omnipotence at any time.) Yet another solution would be to say that creating a stone too heavy for God to lift is impossible, as God can do anything. But because God can do anything he must therefore be able to create a stone so heavy that he cannot lift it: God must be able to do the impossible if he is truly omnipotent. Once the stone is created, logically, it is impossible for God to lift. However, God can do the impossible, so he can lift a stone so heavy that he cannot lift it. In the words of Harry Frankfurt, "If an omnipotent being can do what is logically impossible, then he can not only create situations which he cannot handle but also, since he is not bound by the limits of consistency, he can handle situations which he cannot handle." It could also be argued that with omnipotence comes omniscience. If God knew that he would be needing to lift the stone in the future, why would he create that stone? Proof By Contradiction One response is to use proof by contradiction: 1. Assumption: An omnipotent body exists 2. Extraction: An omnipotent can create any type of stone. 3. Extraction:There are no stones too heavy to lift up for an omnipotent. 4. Logical Conclusion: An omnipotent cannot create a stone too heavy to lift up. 5. Assumption: A non-omnipotent body can create a stone too heavy to lift up. 6. Extraction: A non-omnipotent is superior to an omnipotent, which is contradictory. 7. Logical Result: (An) omnipotent bod(y/ies) cannot exist. The "Logical Fallacy" Arguement Another response to those positing these questions of omnipotence and alleged conflict is that the questions of super heavy stones, along with all the other ability-based arguments etc., are actually a clever logical fallacy, and are false straw man arguments. The reason being is that power is not ability, or knowledge, therefore being all-powerful [omnipotent], logically says nothing about knowledge or ability. To assume [wrongly] that an omnipotent [all-powerful] being is also limitless in ability is not only moving the proverbial goal posts, it is specifically setting up a false straw man to argue upon, by saying they [power and ability] go together when there is no logical or rational basis for this assumption. A simple illustration can be demonstrated, in the fact that mankind has the power to destroy most of life on earth, but still hasn't the ability or knowledge to design and create from scratch simple life forms, such as a flower, a microbe, or a housefly. Ability and knowledge are not the same as raw power. Therefore an omnipotent being, would not necessarily have unlimited abilities at all, and to posit such is a logical fallacy as they [ability and power] are not necessarily linked at all. One other point brought up in regard to the Biblical God's claimed omnipotence, is that is it not a linked prerequisite with ability, in as much as God (in the Bible) is described as being immortal, and incorruptible, therefore it is impossible for Him to die and impossible to for Him to be corrupted, but this has no logical effect on His omnipotence, as has been illustrated. Power is not ability, nor knowledge, they are separate categories, and not mutually exclusive if [power] were unlimited. Therefore for a being to be omnipotent would not logically mean that this being would need to also have unlimited abilities, like the ones proposed above in regard to lifting immovable heavy stones that were just created by the same being. These argument do not affect the position of an omnipotent being because the falsely linked "unlimited ability" is a straw man, and has been inserted to alter the meaning of omnipotence, to then give a false argument for dismissal, as if the omnipotent being is logically untenable due to its omnipotence being in conflict. It is important to be aware of logical fallacies inserted like we see with the false assumption that a being or God that is omnipotent must also somehow be unlimited in abilities. This is not logical, nor rational, and is a straw man argument. The "Logical Fallacy" Counter Argument: Some have another view. It is said it is totally different from a case of a squared triangle.The logical fallacy is not due to the action of creating a stone too heavy to lift up. A squared triangle is seft-contractory and drawing it is logically impossible. However, It is not a illogical or difficult task to create a stone too heavy to lif up even for a layman. The logical difficulty is due to the term omnipotence. If someone attributes the action as a fallacy for a omnipotent, he forgets that the term omnipotence is being investigated. There is another logical fallacy: begging the question. Although some try to defend the existance of an omnipotent being by defining other meanings to the term omnipotence, the new definitions deviate from the common perception of the term and are hard to understand. For example, Power is not ability, nor knowledge, they are separate categories, and not mutually exclusive if [power] were unlimited. Definitions like that needs to be further clarifed or make the term omnipotence void, especially for non-christians, otherwise. Willpower Argument It has been suggested in recent years that the resolution lies in how one understands the word "omnipotent." The paradox dissolves if one accepts this reasonable definition: "An omnipotent being is one who can do anything he (or she or it) wants to." If this is accepted, then "God" can make an unliftable stone at will. If at some later time, God wants to lift that stone, then he can do so. The obvious flaw with this argument can be stated succinctly by rephrasing the paradox: "Can God create a stone so heavy that he will never be able to lift it?" (The religionist in turn might rejoin that God's will never changes, and so on into as many iterations as you choose.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aartemys Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 Baby, take off your coat, real slow. Baby, take off your shoes. I'll help you take off your shoes. Baby, take off your dress. Yes, yes, yes. You can leave your hat on. You can leave your hat on. You can leave your hat on. Go over there, turn on the light. No, all the lights. Come back here, stand on the chair. Ooh, baby, that's right! Raise your arms in the air, now shake 'em. You give me reason to live. You give me reason to live. You give me reason to live. You can leave your hat on! Suspicious minds are talking. That's right, they'll tear us apart. They don't believe in this love of ours. They don't know what love is. They don't know what love is. I know what love is. You can leave your hat on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alive she cried Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 Incredible Street Magic - For more of the funniest videos, click here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aartemys Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 Oh Dear...this guy has waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on his hands... The Accent Guy Irish Australian Manchester Scottish South African London German Russian French Indian And...how to speak fake Spanish...actually sounds more like Portugese... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the division of joy Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 ugh, i hate sinuses Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boogie Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 Dear Lord, America is full of RETARDS! I honestly hope that there was at least 20% of footage left on the cutting room floor with correct answers... Oh FUCK... They're more than stupid... There's no description for this kinda idiotic people... Oh and BTW Aarty. I FUCKING HATED TOO the ACCENT guy. Hey MAN fucking loser... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boogie Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 (edited) Abyone heard of this?? How freaking cool is this??? Ninja Burguer ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The horror of child abuse Edited July 8, 2007 by Boogie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the division of joy Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 hmm, only realise i broke 6000 posts now.... fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alive she cried Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 yes the people in that video are retards and american, but we should'nt (when i say "we" i mean non-u.s.) start believing that all americans are like this, otherwise we risk appearing just as stupid as the people in the video. just look at our fellow american hondonians, they're not retards (well the majority are'nt) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crimsonfire Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 You see Big Brother? One of the English housemates had never heard of Shakespeare. Now thats a retard. So no they arent just Americans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senshik Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 YES!!! I got an IPOD NANNO!!!! YAY!!!!!!! Los is the bestest big brother ever!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanno Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 i brushed my teeth and even mouthwashed, but still can't get rid of the taste of that horrible burger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soldier of fortune Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 fuck that shit, i'm off to bed! Tomorrow i'll figure out howto wirelessly link my mac and PC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted July 9, 2007 Author Share Posted July 9, 2007 also, note to self: go here to learn how to do The Office miis, we need a Dwight one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted July 9, 2007 Author Share Posted July 9, 2007 Despite Nick's hate, and liking them to Sharon Stone's worn-out vadge, I personally think that my recent aqcuisition of every sega console ever made is pretty fucking awesome. hey now, you was shining on my new baby, i had to defend. but in all honesty, there's some great classic gaming to be had; i was a sega kid all through childhood, up till the Sega CD debacle and beyond. id recommend a slew of games i loved, but your tastes are so odd sometimes, id likely get booed. Dear Nick, I met Talib Kweli. Whatcha gonna do about it? TMcM THE FUCK YOU DID, SIR. ...really? whereabouts? that's cooler than freddie jackson sipping a milkshake in a snowstorm. he's supposed to be really down with his fans, how was it? also, props to boogie on the Vagabond image, im always wanting others to discover that series' greatness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boogie Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 but we should'nt (when i say "we" i mean non-u.s.) start believing that all americans are like this,otherwise we risk appearing just as stupid as the people in the video. I never said I believe that. I never generalize, because I don't think all people (who live in some place) are the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newtype Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Somehow it's just not fair. Member ..................................Joined ..........................................Total Member Posts newtype...........................20-October 02............................................1,814 the division of joy...............8-October 05............................................6,011 alive she cried ................5-December 06...........................................2,718 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boogie Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted July 9, 2007 Author Share Posted July 9, 2007 The DS is killing shit, especially in japan. They decided to buy 3 each over there, just in case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the division of joy Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Somehow it's just not fair. Member ..................................Joined ..........................................Total Member Posts newtype...........................20-October 02............................................1,814 the division of joy...............8-October 05............................................6,011 alive she cried ................5-December 06...........................................2,718 quality over quantity my good man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alive she cried Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Somehow it's just not fair. Member ..................................Joined ..........................................Total Member Posts newtype...........................20-October 02............................................1,814 the division of joy...............8-October 05............................................6,011 alive she cried ................5-December 06...........................................2,718 two roads diverged in a yellow wood, one towards a life and one towards a post count that was high, we took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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